Unplanned pregnancy

Unplanned pregnancy can be devastating and overwhelming for an expectant mother especially if they are not married and still young to be one. One may need some time to process the new reality and the consequences of her actions. If you are facing this dilemma right now, I strongly advise you to take necessary steps to take care of yourself and the life inside your womb.

Tell somebody about it! Develop your own support system. If you have a partner, tell him at once and include him in your decision. If he doesn’t support you, look for someone that you trust to confide to. It will help you lessen the stress and burden you’re carrying. Tell your parents but if you are not ready yet, seek for pro-life mentor or counselor. You can talk to your school counselor, church’s pastor or mentor.

Get a proper pre-natal check up and advice as soon as possible and be sure to take good care of yourself. No alcohols, smoking, drugs, and any strenuous activity for the next nine months.

If your partner doesn’t want the baby, let him go immediately. He doesn’t love you and probably doesn’t deserve you and your baby. Love cannot be forced so do not use your baby as leverage too. It is your sole responsibility to take care of your emotional health. Stress and anxiety is not good for you and the baby’s health.

Face it with prayers, acceptance and courage. You are now a mother and many aspects in your lifestyle will change. Planning for long term is essential and aiming for positive results are vital.

Do not consider abortion. It may have been given to you unexpectedly but it is still a blessing from God. He gave you another life to take care of. You may think of all the loss or negative effect it can give you over material and wordly achievements. But what is more valuable than life? Is it your education? Your marriage? or career? Pregnancy is not the end of your life but a beginning of another’s.

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Why not Maximus mom?

While having breakfast, Jaeden diverted our conversation with a question as to why he was named that way. “WHY NOT MAXIMUS, Mom? I like to be called Max”, he exclaimed. Unguardedly, I didn’t know that such an audible blow can elicit vivid recollections of deep rooted memories. Mental images verging on life transitions suchlike that day of my debut, start of pregnancy but this one in particular struck me most upon recalling. I was scheduled for a sonogram, three weeks prior giving birth and surprisingly found out, im having a boy when initial results predicted that the life inside me was a girl.

Marveled by flashbacks, this is what I told my son: “My love, I could’ve named you Maximus but you were named Jaeden because it means “God has answered my prayer” and your second name, Matthew ? It means you’re a “Gift from God”. Now, do you still wana be called Max? Jaeden: No, I love Jaeden, mom. It’s beautiful. Is it why I get gifts from you all the time cause you named me that way? I leaned closer, kissed his forehead and patted his tushie so as to end the conversation.

I should have said this but rather saved it for his 21st or Wedding day. “Among all the boys in the world, I’m glad that heavens gave me you to be my son cause you are exactly the kid i have dreamt to have long before you were conceived. To have you mixed and made beautifully entailed with a brave character to complement my emotional weakness.” God indeed grant my wishes and unending prayers. I didn’t sign up for doing laundries, overwhelming parent teacher meetings, a collection of detention slips and a headlock hug suffocating me in the middle of the night but I’m grateful being in this crazy beautiful journey of single parenting. In point of fact, Motherhood did not change me, IT MADE ME.

This is Karen and her son Jaeden. I've always admired Karen for her courage and independence. I love you both so much.

This is Karen and her son Jaeden. I’ve always admired Karen for her courage and independence. I love you both so much.